a collection of new texts and audio work exploring the physicality of farm labouring, the perils of pregnancy and Welsh coastal mythology
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Published through Bloodletting
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The other life on board stretches
and begins to pulse.
I know that I’m tired, but aren’t we all.
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a coagulation,
a slow solidification from a liquid
to thick viscous then solid state.
and it’s wedged.
The hollow tunnel, the transporter.
There’s a blockage, a block.
A no go pass.
My body aches.
It’s located deep in my ribs
as the breath catches in my throat.
I’ve been waiting,
waiting on my back for my body to naturally dissolve.
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Slowly my head nods and falls,
the bees have escaped from
behind my retinas.
I choose to rest my eyelids.
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Sometime later I wake with the sun burning my face
and perilous squawks above me.
They are circling.
Now is the exact time to panic.
The rocks dig into my spine, and I violently heave
myself and my cargo from side to side,
yet to no avail.
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My legs are locked at the knees,
and I’m dangerously isolated.
No trucks, no wellingtons, no dogs in sight.
Two of them land a foot from me,
greedily watching me struggle.
They cautiously claw tap towards me.
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It’s swelteringly hot below my coat, and once again
I shudder erupting into involuntary vibrations.
Yet I know my weight is too much,
I force my shoulders and hips forward
but I have no momentum to turn.
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I clam up.
And slowly I feel them settle upon my shins.
I kick out as they beginto navigate
over my swelling stomach and torso.
They come to rest on my pulsing neck.
Their claws grip my throat.
I freeze.
I tighten every muscle,
then burst into a cascade of bucks.
For a moment I’m elated as they take flight above
me and I collapse exhausted in the clear silence.
But my shoulder blades arch back into the grass
and my legs lock tight before me.
I’m stranded on my back.
A moment passes.
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This time above my head, out of sight.
I strain my neck away
as I hear them approaching.
Then one sharp slice of my lip
and a beak plunges deep through my eyelid.
The pain sears my skull, as two harsh levers
prise and clamp around my eyeball,
and with slow force and suction I lurch forward
as another intense acidic pain erupts
through my sister socket.
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I black out.
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I wake with the dew on my face,
sight seared shut,
ears pricked.